Small Miracles: My Running Shoes

Eleven years ago, I could never imagine life as it is today. But I do know that the evening that my youngest son Eli finally came into the world he was my miracle baby. And I’ve reminded him of this every day of his life. In fact when I ask Eli, “who are you?” He’ll answer each time, “Your miracle baby, Mama.” I told you about the miracle of my son Eli many times before so today, my son’s birthday, I’ll celebrate some of small miracles that have molded me as a person. It’s so easy for us as human beings to celebrate the big things in life…but it’s the daily events that make us who we are as people. For the next few blog entries I’ll share with you a few of my favorites.

Small Miracles: My Running Shoes
While unemployed, our family made huge life changes as we barely had enough money to pay the mortgage, health insurance, Eli’s diabetes supplies and very basic living expenses. It was a rude awakening to all of us. I’d never balanced my check book in my adult life because money was never in short supply. Jon had always been a good provider and conscious of spending, yet I’d learned to live “high off the hog” with my own earnings. I also had no problem providing our boys with the best of everything. I’d unconsciously passed along my desire for the finer things and brand snobbery to them. Looking back, surely it was my way to ease the guilt I felt from a workaholic lifestyle and far too much work travel.

So just like that…it was gone. The money. The travel. Trips to the mall. Louis Vuitton, Burberry and Nordstrom. Poof…it vanished in a second. As I sat in my lonely home while unemployed the material items that once ruled my world haunted me. Left me feeling empty and sad. I’d worked so hard to gather these things. Yet now, they meant nothing.

What I didn’t realize was how happy I became by the little things in life. Learning how to cook…well attempting to learn how to cook and spending time alone to discover the person deep inside that I used to be and running to deal with my stress. The happy, loving, shy person who laughed at life was back. Like an onion, the layers of attitude and arrogance peeled away. The person God intended me to be was there. And I know now that God intended me to find her again.

But the miracle came when my oldest son Owen was rubbing his swollen feat one afternoon. I could tell that he was in pain. “Honey, what’s the matter?” I asked. “My feet hurt, Mom,” he said quietly. I’d just bought him a pair a few months ago and he’d already grown out of them. He knew that the purchase of those shoes was difficult on our budget. He wasn’t going to tell me he needed another pair. I’d been running for months with a pair of shoes with holes in the bottom of the sole. “Mom, I don’t need new shoes…you do,” he said sadly. My heart sunk. “Yes you do, honey. We’ll be okay,” I told him.

That afternoon we went to the discount store to purchase him some inexpensive shoes. I could tell he still felt badly about the purchase. That evening he sat next to on the couch and gave me a huge hug. “Mom, I love you,” he said. Then he pulled out a bank of quarters. “Mom, I’ve been saving change for a few years. I think there is enough here to buy you a new pair of running shoes,” he said. My eyes welled with tears. “Let’s buy your shoes tomorrow,” he hugged harder. “Thank you, honey. We will,” I wept quietly. Just one small example of the act of kindness can feel like a miracle for a lifetime.

Welcome Bosco. Newest member of the Grayson Family.

For several years my husband Jon has begged me to have another child. He is the best Dad in the entire world and loves his boys more than anything. I and numerous doctors, on the other hand didn’t think it was such a good idea for me to carry another child. It took several attempts and a long, long time for me to have my youngest son Eli, so I just couldn’t handle the likely disappointment of trying to have another child. Instead Jon felt we should adopt a child from another country. A wonderful child that could have a happy life in America with a family who would love him or her with all of their heart. And we would have. Yet, something in my heart told me to wait.

I know now that ‘the something’ was an illness that would consume our lives. And it did. When Eli was eight, he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. It was a disease that would turn our family upside down and consume most of our free time for years to come. And, for Eli’s entire life. I took a year off of work, thanks to the poor economy and a great severance package from my employer. This time provided me with the opportunity to learn the ‘ins and outs’ of parenting a child with T1. I was able to take the months off of work to train to become a nutritionist, biochemist and psychiatrist…at least for my son. My own psyche was more than bit messed up…but that’s another story for another day.

After a beautiful year off of work, I was able to learn how to care for my diabetic son and obtain a life changing insulin pump. The pump is a beautiful invention. Thank you Medtronic for all you do for my son!!! The pump gave me the confidence I needed to go back to work full time. Even though the midnight and three am blood sugar checks did not go away, I felt that my son was safe and the pump gave him and me the independence that we needed to go on with life.

Two and one half years later, I read about a remarkable organization that trained dogs to become DAD’s, Diabetic Alert Dogs. Strangely, Jon and Eli met a DAD pug when they were visiting family in San Francisco this summer. When they mentioned the Pug, I immediately researched the possibility of obtaining a DAD for Eli. We adore Pugs. So yesterday, for Eli’s birthday, we purchashed a lovely black pug for him. His name is Bosco Amica “Brave Friend”. He is a spunky little eight week old Pug with lots of energy and personality. We will love him as one of the family. Most importantly, we will train him methodically for the next two years to learn how to alert us when Eli has hypoglycemia, life threatening low blood sugar. Through scent training Bosco will become familiar with Eli’s ‘highs and lows’ and alert him to test his blood sugar. If Eli is unresponsive he will bark. It will take some time to train Bosco, but he will be an integral part of our family for years to come.

Although we never had that third child that Jon wanted so badly, we will have an incredibly happy life with a new baby, our DAD pug. Welcome dear Bosco to our family. We will love you dearly and you will love us even more!!!