One of my goals while unemployed last year was to stop and notice my surroundings. It took awhile, about four months to be exact, but I succeeded eventually. I’ve spent most of my adulthood bulldozing my way through life. Although I now see it as a toxic existence, once it was all I knew. Driven to the core…in everything I did. As a bulldozer, I’d plow through the terrain not noticing anything ahead except to the path I was about to destroy.
I started noticing my surroundings with the change of seasons, while on my daily running ritual that started when the snow began to melt. Bulldozing my way through the route each day was how it began. The routine was set for a mission of getting back to the hot body that I had in my twenties. But a strange thing happened when spring came, so did the buds on the trees, the green grass, delicate chirps of the birds singing in the morning. How couldn’t I’ve noticed these subtle changes in my life before? It was so beautiful. The sounds, the smell of the flowers, the rustling of the squirrels in the leaves.
The awakening of my surroundings continued through summer, fall and winter. I’d completed four changes of seasons before returning to work. Each with its own beauty and uniqueness. Now that I’m back to being a working girl, I’ve vowed to continue my quest to notice the beauty of simplicity. My husband catches me slipping now and again, “Honey, you’re dozing again,” he reminds me. And not because I’m sneaking in a nap!
I have to admit that I’m still a bulldozer. What can you expect? It takes a lot of effort to change completely. But now, I’m not dozing for power, prestige and money. I’m bulldozing to be a better wife, mother and person. My drive is now focused on a vision of doing the right thing.
Very Nice!
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