How do you talk to your 14 year old about suicide?

I know that I’ve said this before…that writing is a form of therapy. But I question tonight what therapy can truly be. How can you explain to your fourteen year old son, the reasons behind suicide? Two of his friends have taken their lives in less than six months. One…just last night.

I look at my children and pray that I can be the best parent to them. God gave them to me as gifts, right? Owen is my “angel sent from heaven” when I never thought I’d have children. Eli is my “Miracle Baby” the second child that I prayed for each night and took so long to have. For so long, I’ve walked on egg shells, just hoping to be a good mom. But tonight, I struggle. I have no words to console them. How can this be? I am supposed to be a writer. God has given me the gift of bull-shit, and trust me…I’ve used this gift to my fullest advantage. But tonight….I have no words. I only have tears.

I think about my friend who lost her son months ago…and lives with the agony every day; while the world around her moves on. Now, I think about my son’s dear friend whose sister is now gone. We will spend the next several weeks, mourning their loss. But with even the worst pain, we’ll move on. While the family will remain in deep sorrow.

For the second time in six months, my husband and I sat our two young children, age 14 and 10, down to discuss the loss of a young life. A life that was taken needlessly. They sat in our living room and we tried to explain to them about choices, expressing their feelings, the gift of life that only God provides. We explained that God placed them on this earth for a reason…and that we need to sometimes dig deep into our soul to determine what that purpose is supposed to be.

So what is the answer? How do you explain these tragedies to your children? I just don’t know. But, I’ll guarantee that there will be a long car ride with the fourteen year old tomorrow. It seems the only place where he truly opens up to speak his feelings. For the ten year old, we’ve already spent hours talking and hugging.

Talk to your kids…even when they don’t speak back to you. Hug them...hold them...every day!